You Never Know Until You Try

When contemplating whether to do something or not, a plucky voice in our heads may say, "You never know until you try." This is time-honored wisdom that encourages us to be game rather than to hold back. It reminds us that it is only through experience that we learn about this world and ourselves. Even if we regret the outcome, we have learned something, and the newfound knowledge is almost always worth it.

This wisdom can be applied to situations both large and small. From crossing the Atlantic on a boat to trying Ethiopian food, there’s only one way to find out what it’s like. We have all had experiences where we tried something we didn’t think we’d like and fell in love. We may have found ourselves stuck with nothing to read but a "boring" book, only to kick-start a lifelong passion for Victorian literature. We may have decided that sailing was not for us until we fell in love with someone with a boat. On the other hand, we may try tofu only to learn that it is truly not for us. In this case, we gain greater self-knowledge from the experience. And yet, we might still remain open to trying it prepared in a different way. The right marinade might make you a convert—you’ll never know if you don’t try it.

It is often said that at the end of our lives we are more likely to regret the things we did not do than the things we did. As an exercise to test your own willingness to discover through doing, try making a list of things you regret not having done. You may begin to notice patterns such as a failure to say what you really think at key moments or closed-mindedness to certain types of activities. Just being aware of the opportunities you missed might encourage you not to miss them again. There’s only one way to find out.

Making Choices from a Place of Balance

Each of the myriad decisions we make every day has the potential to have a deep impact on our lives. Some choices touch us to our very cores, awakening poignant feelings within us. Others seem at first to be simple but prove to be confusingly complex. We make the best decisions when we approach the decision-making process from a balanced emotional and intellectual foundation. When we have achieved equilibrium in our hearts and in our minds, we can clearly see both sides of an issue or alternative. Likewise, we can accept compromise as a natural fact of life. Instead of relying solely on our feelings or our rationality, we utilize both in equal measure, empowering ourselves to come to a life-affirming and balanced conclusion.

Balance within and balance without go hand in hand. When you are called upon to choose between two or more options, whether they are attractive or distasteful, you should understand all you can about the choice ahead of you before moving forward. If you do not come to the decision from a place of balance, you risk making choices that are irrational and overly emotional or are wholly logical and don’t take your feelings into account. In bringing your thoughts and emotions together during the decision-making process, you ensure that you are taking everything possible into account before moving forward. Nothing is left up to chance, and you have ample opportunity to determine which options are in accordance with your values.

Though some major decisions may oblige you to act and react quickly, most will allow you an abundance of time in which to mull over your choices. If you doubt your ability to approach your options in a balanced fashion, take an extended time-out before responding to the decision. This will give you the interlude you need to make certain that your thoughts and feelings are in equilibrium. As you practice achieving balance, you will ultimately reach a state of mind in which you can easily make decisions that honor every aspect of the self.

sanctuary

When we have created a sanctuary in our home, it can be jarring to have the outside world come in. It is easy to share our space with those we know well, but often strangers are asked in as household help, contractors, or technicians that help us make our homes more comfortable. Acquaintances of our spouses or children also bring something new and different into our space. If we resist their presence, treating it as an intrusion, we restrict the free flow of energy and may miss the gift they bring. Instead, we can choose to treat their energy as an exchange of gifts as well as an exercise in acceptance.

Before their arrival, we can prepare by envisioning light surrounding our bodies and radiating outward from the core of our homes. We may want to create a calm and welcoming environment by playing meditation music or lighting incense. We can remove tension for all involved by putting away our valuables. Then when they arrive, we claim our boundaries by guiding them through their visit—asking them to remove their shoes, offering coasters or a place to set down tool boxes, and indicating by example to speak softly or not use harsh language. If something still causes stress, we can remember that what begins as an irritation to an oyster becomes a pearl. After they depart, we can burn sage and clear our space if we like but not without first finding the pearl.

Finally, remember that we learn about life by relating with others. People may have been sent to our homes because we ignored some of the universe’s messengers outside. Our homes need not be a way to keep people out but can be the place where we are ourselves while accepting and allowing other’s choices. When we share the joy of our homes, we radiate our light rather than hide it behind closed doors. The more we do this, the more the outside world can become like the sanctuary we’ve created inside.